I would like to say that I have always appreciated the way God created me to be, but that would not be true. Coming to accept myself the way God made me has taken many years. For years I tried to change who I am instead of accepting myself. I tried to be who people around me wanted me to be, or I percieved they wanted me to be. I tried to manipulate my body by starving it into a size it was never intended to be. I studied things of no interest to me to please people...I wanted to be anything but what and who I was made to be. After years of this things began to change. I began to take the Word of God literally and applied it to my life. His Word says in Psalms 139
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[a]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
He made me wonderfully! He had a plan for my life before the beginning of time. A purpose in putting me here! It became important to me to find that purpose and to work to see myself as He created me.
I wander if I hadn't starved myself to be thin, what would I look like, If I hadn't wasted time trying to please man what would I have been doing. I know I can't change the past, I have to focus on the now. Yes I do still workout, watch what I eat, but now it is in perspective to life. I try to eat natural foods at least 90% of the time. The foods that I beleive God created for us to eat. I accept that I may never be tiny, but I am me and I will take care of the body God has given me, for it is fearfully and wonderfully made.
Recently I was really struggling with the time I spend running and studying for my trainer's certification, when I felt God say...you are right where I want you doing what I created you for..you are in My plan...trust Me!
I don't know how, but my love of God and the love He has placed in me for fitness/nutrition are going to be used for His glory! When we seek Him, He will give us the desires of our heart! He is constantly thinking about me! He wants me! Amazing!
Can you trust that God made you for a purpose, the way He made you? I think most of us have no idea what we should look like, because we altered it by eating junk and over eating/ starving or otherwise manipulating our bodies to look like society says they should look or to hide behind...it is time to come out of hiding and discover the wonderfully made person God created!